Sailing with Friends

Most times we sail, it’s against friends. Sunday found us sailing with friends.

Racing or Cruising

Normally sailing fits into these categories. Racing means people who are normally friendly get crazy-competitive and will do any tricky maneuver for bragging rights later. Cruising usually means we’re on the boat alone for a quiet evening or vacation sail and as it sounds, we’re taking it easy and going with the flow.


Races begin with a discussion about where the race will start and when “Go Time” is. We plot the race course, usually the Ben Franklin Bridge to the Walt Whitman or “bridge to bridge” as we say and argue PHRF ratings.  Cruising begins with a discussion about food, what type of cheese and which bottle of wine to bring and our course tends toward upriver for the view.

Cruising and Racing

Sunday evening found us combining the two in a way that rarely happens. We were sailing down the Delaware River with Liz, my best friend from our Barcelona days, in town for a conference and Ralph, my college pal, and Peter’s brother, Andy who normally races against us. While we were out for a social cruise, we were also racing Mike and Mike in the Santana bridge to bridge.  The first Mike is our good friend; the latter Mike was a first time sailor.

Sunday Cruise

We piled into the cockpit, gin & tonics in hand.  Peter stashed marinating ahi-tuna and pineapple to grill, insalata caprese fixings and wine and we were off!

Sunday Race

Mike called out, “What’s the plan?”
“Bridge to Bridge?”
“OK!” 
And with a voice-delivered “Brrraannnnpppph” the race began!
We started under the Ben Franklin and with Peter’s driving and Andy’s sail trim, Moon was leading!
Then we saw Mike putting up his spinnaker which means serious business.
Andy and Peter discussed strategies.
As we neared the Walt Whitman, the guys employed (exploited?) the racing rule that the windward boat has to give room.  They drove Mike up into the wind, his spinnaker collapsed, the boat slowed down and had to come way down wind to get clear of us. 
We passed under the Walt Whitman, heading back toward Philadelphia when we heard Mike do the unthinkable:  he started his engine!  He’s never quit a race since I’ve known him!  But he did have the excuse that the other Mike’s wife, pregnant with twins, about to deliver, had called.  I guess we’ll let him slide.

Sunday Cruise

Returning to cruising, Liz asked:  What brings about a sense of well-being in life?  What makes it meaningful?  What makes us happy?  (The essence of positive psychology, the conference that had brought Liz to town.)  We pondered, ate insalata caprese, sipped wine and talked.

The Results

While we all had different responses, all agreed that doing something we enjoy is important.  Spending time together on the water, something happens. A calm, a flow, an appreciation for the fleetingness of the moments that make up life.

sun set sail

sun set sail, a photo by nardell on Flickr.

Life through Ralph's eyes is always romantic and artistic. Here, Mike and Mike on the Santana with the spinnaker up sailing down the Delaware. Philadelphia, PA. All photography for Sunday's sail done by my amazing friend Ralph Nardell.

Sea Wyf

The inspiration for the Blog title comes from three sources:

The most immediate, The Sea Wife’s Handbook mentioned in the first post.

Sea Wyf was also coincidentally the name of a sailboat I crewed on a few times when I lived in Trinidad.  Sunday races off Chaguaramas always ended with rum and cokes or Caribs and Stags (Trini beer brands).

Finally, the etymology—that’s the English teacher in me!—the etymology of Wyf is very like our Modern English wife which stems from the Middle English spelling wyf which stems from the Old English word for woman, wyf. 

So this blog is written by a Sea Woman for other Sea Women…and anyone else who wants to read!

Getting Underway

When I first met Peter four summers ago, he called across the dock to me the day after we met and yelled, “Hey Jeannie, wanna go for a sail?”  We’ve been sailing together since then and have faced a few perilous moments together, but overall have enjoyed countless hours, days, weeks planning sailing trips, racing against our friends, rafting up for a post sail gathering, and anchored in a quiet place watching the sun set.

Peter taught me how to sail.  My Dad had sailed and taken us out sailing as teens and adults, but I never really got it then.  A few years ago, my Dad asked, “Has he made a sailor out of you yet?”  I have to say at this point, yes.


Last summer before my first ocean-going trip, our sailing friend Mike handed me a copy of The Sea Wife’s Handbook written in 1970 by Joyce Sleightholme.  At that point, I didn’t call myself a sailor, but I knew how to sail.  I’d been sailing with Peter for three years a few times a week in three seasons and occasionally on a winter day.  So I knew how to sail.  I knew how to take the tiller and drive during a race, how to hoist the sails, how to tack and jibe.  When I first cracked the old book open, I joked that the book was sexist and we all laughed reading such phrases as “the value of a woman who can manage the ship while the skipper gets some rest” (p. 92).  But as we got nearer to the mouth of the Delaware Bay and closer to the ocean, I realized I had no idea what to expect and that’s when I picked up the book in earnest to scan pages that talked about how to keep the night watch and what dangers to look out for on the open seas.

This blog is a place where practical advice for surviving life on a boat will be shared.  Everything from what to expect on a night watch, to the best foods to pack for a longer trip.  How to get in some yoga on the deck or down below and how to mix great cocktails to sip while watching the sun set.  What tools and products make life easier and what little tricks I’ve learned over the years.  And perhaps most interesting of all are the destinations—places we’ve been, places we’re going and places we love going back to.

So welcome aboard!  I look forward to sharing some tips and learning more tips from my blog followers!  Cast off!